


Fan Service

by moodwriter



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:50:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moodwriter/pseuds/moodwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy is falling, gradually. <i>Adam Lambert rules his universe at the moment. Everything he is right now is because of Adam.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic in this fandom. I started writing it pretty much after I saw Adam in the concert in Helsinki. I posted it on November 19th 2010. Since then I've written a few books worth of Adam/Tommy fic, and I'm still inspired. :D It's been a wonderful journey.

After the first kiss at AMAs he said to Adam, "I don't care. You can do whatever you want. I trust your judgment." Those three sentences sealed his fate. 

His job description is not what he expected it to be when he auditioned for Adam's band. Instead of playing the lead guitar he is actually becoming a pretty decent bassist, and day after day, month after month, he gets his hair pulled, his body groped and his mouth devoured in ways he didn't even know were possible before. 

The band, the tour, the fans keep him busy enough, connected enough so he doesn't dwell on things that could otherwise become overwhelming. 

He needs contact, needs closeness, after everything that's happened to him. And Adam, he lets people close. Everything is easier because he doesn't have to ask for permission to lean in, to seek comfort. Adam likes it, likes to touch, likes to be touched, and Tommy does that, steps into his personal space and doesn't let go. He needs it, like he's never needed anything before. 

Adam gives him a long look, determined and not a little devilish, holding a purple butterfly mask in his hand. They are on the stage of Jackson Theater, rehearsing for tonight's show. "It's going to be great. Trust me," he says but Tommy still has doubts. What's so great about a mask? He'll look ridiculous, and it'll be impossible to see well with it. 

He tilts his head to the side, looks at Adam, purses his lips. "Why?"

"You'll love it," Adam says and Tommy believes him. Adam knows what looks and sounds good on stage. He's rarely wrong. 

"Try it." Adam hands the mask to Tommy, and he takes it, shaking his head, but puts it on anyway. 

Adam smiles. "It's gorgeous." Then he moves to the stairs, to their Fever spot, and takes his mike from one of the steps. "Come here. Put your earpiece on. I want to see if I can pull the mask off easily without taking that with it."

Tommy does what he's told, taking a better hold of his bass. He leans his side against Adam's back and waits. Adam starts to sing, his voice loud and clear even in the empty theater, even when nobody else is listening, except the band members and a few workers there. 

"...Sexual tic tac toe..." And they turn to face each other. The next line has Adam pulling the mask off, and Tommy's earpiece goes with it. 

"Shit, sorry," Adam says. "Let's try it again."

They do, and Tommy leans a bit closer. He breathes in, listens to Adam's voice, the cues the words give him. "We both know it isn't time..." Adam takes the mask off without disturbing the earpiece, and slides the mask and his hand against Tommy's head, his hair. He leans in for a kiss, his lips ghosting over Tommy's but he pulls away before they touch. 

"Let's try it a few times," Adam says as he goes to pick the mask up. Tommy hides his face behind it again, and they start over. 

Monte takes a video of their little performance with his cellphone, and Tommy has to admit it looks good, like Adam is undressing him, like he's somehow innocent. "You were right," he simply says, and Adam winks, cocky as hell. Yeah, he knows. 

That night, it's even better. The audience always makes Adam hungry for more, more of anything, but mostly just release of any kind. Tommy waits at the end of the stairs, adjusting the mask and his hair, nervous all of a sudden. He has no idea why, though. Adam knows what he's doing. 

When Adam leans against him Tommy does the same, trying to follow Adam's movements with his own body. He can't really dance, he can't do what Adam does, but he likes to play. When Adam turns around Tommy freaks out a little, laughing. It's so silly and embarrassing. And when Adam pulls the mask off, hand grabbing his neck, Tommy knows it's going to be one of those kisses, the ones that demand instead of ask. He lets Adam pull him in, and kisses right back, hard, quick, sweet. And when it's over he continues to play like nothing happened. It's a part of his job description: make out with the boss. He enjoys it: Adam and his crazy ideas, Adam and his ideas that don't hold, Adam who takes and always makes sure you're okay with it. 

The rest of the gig is great. He gets high from the screams, from the love they receive, from people who know him and show it during the intro. He can't believe it. Not now and probably never. It's cool every freaking time. 

When the show is over he goes to backstage with the rest of the band. Everyone is laughing, smiling, their spirits high, and he's with them all the way, his very soul relaxed and happy. Adam grabs him into a hug and he returns it, puts his arms tight around him. Everyone joins them. It's hot, it's suffocating, but it's the best there is. It's family. 

After a while, people pull away, and Adam takes advantage of the space around them, grabbing his chin. "Thank you," he says and kisses his cheek. Tommy grins at him, but he's slightly puzzled, too. 

"What for?" he asks when Adam lets go of him.

Adam's eyes flash with something Tommy can't quite name. "For creating pop history with me," he says like it's supposed to be crystal clear, like Tommy should have known what he meant. "Some fans say that we're saving the world one kiss at a time."

Tommy laughs. What else can he do? Partly it's probably true, but mostly it's just insane. Yeah, people cheer at two guys kissing, but it's hardly going to change anything with the real world. But it's a pretty thought, and Tommy is all for pretty. He kisses Adam's cheek, whispers in his ear, "I'll save the world with you as long as you want me to."

He can feel Adam's laughter, and it feels good. 

Once they have showered and changed into their normal clothes, they go to a bar, have a few drinks, dance a little. It's the VIP section of the bar, and there are mostly people who are not that interested in a crazy group of people who wear too much make-up and manage to create too much noise. 

Tommy is sitting next to Adam, his head resting against Adam's shoulder and Adam's hand stroking his hair. Adam is talking to Sasha about things Tommy can't follow at all. It has something to do with charts and planets and how they move to different rooms. It's the kind of shit Adam loves. 

He feels like sleeping, but the hand in his hair is too comfortable, and he just wants to stay awake a little longer. Nobody else has ever petted him the way Adam does, and sometimes he wonders if it's a little insane to crave for something like that. Maybe it is, but right now he doesn't give a damn. Right now, he could purr. 

"Want to go back to the buses?" Adam asks him at some point, but he just shakes his head. He's not going anywhere, ever. He's just going to sit there and be comfy for the rest of his life. 

Eventually he does fall asleep, and it's Adam's fingers brushing his cheek that wake him up. "We're going," Adam says quietly. "Can you get up?"

He stretches first, shirt riding up as he lifts his hands above his head. Adam pushes at him, at his back, getting up himself, too. 

"How can you sleep anywhere you like?" Adam asks, but doesn't expect an answer. Everyone else is already getting their jackets, and Adam grips his elbow and pulls him with him. 

Tommy is half asleep when they finally get into the night air. He leans against Monte, his chin digging into his shoulder. He needs someone to guide him back to the bus. They'll be driving all night. 

Atlanta is as exciting as the other gigs, and the show goes on. September 23rd takes them to Singapore, and the US tour is over for now. Tommy wants to bash his head against the wall for losing his passport on the way from Los Angeles to Hong Kong, but Adam tells him to forget about it. He didn't miss a show, and that's the only thing that matters. It doesn't make him feel better, though, especially since everyone treats him like a child after that, checking on everything he does. 

At least they are staying in a decent hotel, and he's sharing a room with Isaac who's maybe enthusiastic and crazy, but oddly lets Tommy do whatever he wants and leaves him alone when he needs that. He calls home, he watches horror movies, he takes a long bath. Tommy-time, fuck yeah. 

When the others go to Bali to have an actual vacation he goes back to LA to get a real passport that lets him travel around the world and stay in countries for three months if he likes. It sucks, and he wants to kick his sorry ass to the next year. But he gets to see his family and friends, and that's always a bonus. 

The first question his sister asks is: "Can I come to Japan with you?" She's joking, of course, but he knows she wants to. Who wouldn't?

The Japanese fans are intense but respectful. That doesn't make sense, and Tommy likes it. During Broken Open they are quiet, almost serene, but when anything else is being played Adam gets fierce energy from them, giving more of himself in return. It's catching, and Tommy feels the same. Give them more. 

Adam is back to hair pulling, and it freaking hurts but who cares. The kiss is passion and screams and fucking masterful, and just a short moment there, he forgets how to breathe. He watches it later from Youtube, and laughs at his own reaction, the _wow_ he can't hold in. It's a genuine moment of shock. Adam can be quite forceful. He was in the receiving end of that in the AMAs, and this felt a bit the same. He hopes it's not the only thing the fans will remember him of: the guy Adam Lambert kissed a lot. To the media, he's been Adam's dancer and keyboardist and whatnot. Whatever. Is he Adam's boy toy to the fans? A pretty glitter kitty? Maybe. 

He doesn't want to think about it too much. Instead, he ups the game, and shoves himself into the middle of the fire. He can survive it. 

In Manila, he just lets go, and enjoys the flow, kisses Adam, leans into him. Fan service, maybe, but he loves it. He enjoys pushing Adam's buttons. He wants to break that stage persona. It's now a game to him: make Adam lose it on stage. He gets honest smiles. He gets silly movements, and funny expressions. 

He trusts Adam, more than he's ever trusted anyone who’s not family. Adam likes his playful nature, and it brings out strange new sides in their friendship. And he's never laughed or smiled as much as he does with the band, on and off stage. Adam makes him smile. That's both liberating and infuriating. He' s not in control of his own facial expressions. He's a god damn adult. He should be, but he isn't. 

Adam Lambert rules his universe at the moment. Everything he is right now is because of Adam. And Adam hasn't used it against Tommy, not once. He's never even hinted that he could end it all. Adam could kick him out of the band. He could stop doing what he does. He could end Tommy Joe Ratliff if he wanted to. Adam is the best boss he's ever had. Tommy would do anything for him, especially since he never expects Tommy to do that. Adam just is. Sometimes he's annoying. Sometimes he's fragile. But most of the time Adam Lambert keeps the show moving, makes them all happy. How he does that is beyond Tommy. He couldn't do it. He can barely interact with the fans nowadays because they want so much of him. He wishes he was better, wishes he knew how to keep a distance while getting as close as possible.

He does more than most people. He knows. But most of the time it isn't enough. 

"I think you should be a bit more careful," Adam says to him in the mini-bus that's taking them to see places in pretty, pretty New Zealand. Tommy has never seen anything like it, except in the Lord of the Rings movies. New Zealand is a fairy-tale land, and he wants to get lost in it. 

He has no idea what Adam is talking about. 

"Careful of what?" he asks, looking out the window. 

"The fans."

He looks at Adam because his tone is odd. "Why?" Nothing bad has happened. Some people try to kiss him, some succeed in it. Some just want hugs and autographs. He can do that. Some treat him like he's not a human being, but that's doable, too. It's strange as hell, but still, doable. 

"Just don't do it alone, don't meet them alone. That's all. I don't want you to get hurt. Even if people don't mean anything bad something can happen in big groups."

Adam is probably right, but the concern makes him feel a bit strange, like something else is being said here and he just can't figure it out. They have security, he can use them. Most of the time he does that, but sometimes things move too quickly and he's alone. Yeah, careful. That's good advice. 

"Otherwise I'll call your mom, and tell her that you're being irresponsible." Adam sticks his tongue out, and Tommy feels like they're five. He pokes at Adam's side, and makes him giggle. He loves Adam's giggle. He does it again, just to hear that sound.

Auckland is amazing. It's the first time he almost cries on stage. They surprise him completely with Enter Sandman, and Adam's Happy Birthday Kiss is more than a little tender. He can't say anything after the gig. He's too touched by it, and he just wants to sit for a while. They let him. He loves them for it. 

Once he's gathered himself, everyone comes to hug him. The dancers all kiss him, one by one, and he's a big pile of warm happy goo because of them. He can't believe that he was once such a cool guitarist and a wannabe rockstar. He doesn't know what he's now, but he likes it more than he liked what he was before. He's happier now. That has to count for something. 

Adam is the last one to congratulate him. He pulls Tommy up from the chair, puts his fingers under Tommy's chin, and kisses him. It's the first time he's ever kissed Tommy offstage. It's soft and chaste, just their lips touching lightly. It's over soon, and Tommy leans into Adam after it. "Happy birthday, glitterbaby," Adam says, his voice full of laughter. 

When they go out that night Tommy hangs onto everyone. He feels like cuddling, like he doesn't want to show his face to anyone. He just holds on to the nearest body that happens to be Adam's. He doesn't seem to mind, and it's good. He gets drunk after two drinks because alcohol hates him tonight. It makes him even more touchy feely, and everyone laughs at him. Adam finally feels sorry for him, and takes him back to the hotel. They're leaving in the morning anyway. 

"You're impossible," Adam says to him when he opens the door to his room. He has his own room. It's such a luxury that he feels a bit lonely. Adam sits him on the bed, takes off his boots and jacket, and then just looks at him. 

"Are you going to wash your face?" he asks after a while. Tommy shakes his head, and Adam sighs. "Lucky bastard." Tommy never has to worry about his skin. It just is the way it is. 

He doesn't want to be alone, but he doesn't know how to say that either. Adam wants to go back to the party. Tommy can see it from the way he stands, his hands fidgeting at his sides. 

"Go. They're waiting for you," Tommy finally says. He starts to take the rest of his clothes off. He just wants to go to bed, wants to pull the covers over his head and disappear from the world. The room is spinning, and there's something in his throat. He feels like throwing things out the window. He has no idea why. 

Adam takes a step closer to the bed, then stops, waiting. Tommy has managed to get rid of his shirt and jeans and he's now wearing only his t-shirt and boxers. 

_I want you to stay._ He doesn’t say it, only stares at Adam. 

"What do you want, birthday boy?" Adam asks, and the words hang between them. Adam has given him the right to speak his mind, but still, he hesitates. Everything he says now can be misinterpreted. 

He sits on the bed, then falls on his side, goes down because of gravity. His head hits the pillow, his hair covering his face. "Stay," he whispers. 

He's not drunk anymore. 

Adam takes off his shoes, puts his jacket on the armrest of the reading chair, and goes to the bathroom. Tommy can hear the water running. Adam is cleaning off all the make up. He gets up, pads across the room, and opens the bathroom door. Adam is drying his face with a white fluffy towel. 

They are so serious and quiet. Tommy wants to make noise, wants to say something stupid to take the edge off. Instead he turns the faucet on and washes his face, then brushes his teeth. And all the while Adam is watching him. 

When he's finished Adam gives him the towel. For a short moment there, Tommy thinks that Adam is going to dry his face, but the moment passes when Adam lets go and goes to the bedroom. Tommy tries to think clearly, but the situation is too wired. He has not agreed to anything, but he's not sure how Adam sees the situation. He wants to make it clear, but he doesn't know what clear is. There are no boundaries in his mind at the moment.

He comes out of the bathroom once he's ready to face Adam. He’s looking out the window, still fully dressed. "Want me to sleep here tonight?" Adam asks. 

Tommy nods, but then realizes that Adam is not looking at him. "Yeah," he says. That much is clear. 

"What is this?" Adam turns to face him, his expression unreadable. 

"I don't want to be alone," he says, knowing it's not an answer. He doesn't want to talk about it, and hopes Adam can see it. He wants to sleep. He wants to feel warm. He just wants. 

Adam relaxes. "Okay." He smirks. "Go to bed."

"Bossy." Tommy says, but goes anyway. Adam smacks his butt on the way, and he laughs, all that weird wiredness gone. He jumps on the bed, pulling at the covers, and watches as Adam takes off his clothes. He puts all of them neatly away, and Tommy feels slightly self-conscious about his own clothes that are scattered everywhere. 

Adam hesitates only for a second, before he lies down next to Tommy. His body radiates heat, and Tommy sighs. He can't remember the last time there was someone in bed with him. It's been too long. He lies on his back, waiting for Adam to settle down, to switch the bedside lamp off. 

Then it's quiet. 

Adam moves and the bed dips a little. In the darkness, Tommy can see the outline of his body. He's propped up against an elbow, looking at Tommy. "I never do this, you know," he says quietly. 

Tommy can't help the smile. He's pretty sure most friends don't do this. It doesn't mean some don't want to. "Thank you," he says because it's in order. He can't believe he even asked. It's even harder to believe that Adam is okay with it. 

Adam slides his hand under Tommy and pulls him against his side. Then he puts one of the pillows under Tommy's head so he won't be resting only against his hard shoulder. "Sleep," he says, and Tommy does, his knee on top of Adam's thigh and his hand in Adam's neck. 

In the morning, it takes Tommy a moment to realize who's next to him. He doesn't freak out, but it isn't easy either. He opens his eyes, and finds Adam staring at him. "Hi," Adam says to him. Tommy is lying on his back, and Adam is on his side, hands under his pillow. They are barely touching, but it feels like there’s a direct bond between Adam’s knee and Tommy’s hip. It’s warm and gentle, and Tommy has no idea how to take it. Intimacy comes easily to Adam, but Tommy isn't sure if this is too much for both of them. 

"Hi," he says back. He wants to get up, but he also wants to stay. 

Adam’s smile is soft. "This is going to be the end of me," he says, and Tommy knows he means it. 

"I’m not going anywhere."

"Doesn’t mean you’ll come any closer either." There’s something deep in Adam’s blue eyes, some kind of sadness Tommy has never seen before. 

"You know I love you," Tommy says after a long while. He listens to Adam’s breathing, listens to the ruffling of the sheets as Adam turns his face away. 

When he speaks his voice is muffled, quiet, almost non-existent. "Don’t use it against me."

It was a bad idea to ask Adam to stay. He has to make it up to him somehow, has to do something, now. He reaches out, strokes Adam’s hair. It’s not the right thing to do either, but he’s returning the favor. Friends do this, don't they? "I won’t. I’m not…" He’s not using Adam or his kindness. He just loves it too much to have proper boundaries. 

Adam looks at him, takes his hand and holds it, kisses the knuckles. "I know," he says. "Come here." Adam pulls him closer, flush against his body, Tommy’s head under his chin. "Don’t ask this too often, though."

Tommy nods, closing his eyes. It’s six am. They still have a few hours to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

In Sydney, Adam wants him to be shy on stage, and he is whatever Adam wants him to be. At this point, he'd do practically anything for Adam, but he doesn't say it out loud. Things might get too dangerous if he admits it. 

But oh, how he loves to play. He laughs when Adam goes to charm the audience, kisses someone cute, gives and gives and gives. There's no limit for Adam's love for the crowd. 

"You're perfect," Adam says to him after the gig. "You should get an Oscar for this."

He's maybe acting, but it comes naturally with Adam. It's easy. He can't imagine doing it with anyone else. 

They go out that night, partying like there's no tomorrow. Tommy chats with fans, lets girls hug him, kiss him, lets them buy him drinks. He forgets to be careful again, but it doesn't matter because he's in good hands. Everyone is friendly and nice, acting like there's nothing that amazing about him. 

When a cute brunette flirts with him more than the rest of them he looks at Adam, locks eyes with him, and Adam nods. He's not sure why he waits for that approval. He's never done this before. He's twenty-nine years old. He hasn't asked anyone's permission to do anything since he moved out of home. Now, he even puts his sex life in Adam's hands. It's not healthy, and he knows that. It's idiotic and all kinds of crazy, but he doesn't care. 

He goes with the girl, takes her with him to the hotel room he shares with Isaac. He puts the Do Not Disturb sign on the door handle, and hopes it will keep Isaac away. 

She's not just cute; she's beautiful. Even more so without her clothes on. She's small, clever, and curvy, just the way he likes his women. She's noisy, too, and likes it a little rough. There are nail marks on his sides and back when it's over. He likes that, and when she puts her arms around him afterwards, that's good, too. 

He feels satisfied. 

Her name is Saarah, and she disappears in the morning without a fuzz. She follows him on Twitter, and sends him text messages, but she doesn't push. She's smart enough to know that he's not looking for anything deep right now. It doesn't change the fact that she's definitely one of those gems you meet once in a life time. 

At breakfast, Adam gives him a long look and a sweet smile, and that's that. Nothing's changed.

After the two gigs in Honolulu, they have a little free time. They go back to Los Angeles, back to their families and the lives they knew before the tour. There’s a nagging feeling at the back of Tommy’s mind, but otherwise things are good. 

On Halloween, they dress up as vampires, and throw a private party. Adam wants to do something of his own, something with friends only, and everyone agrees. If Tommy is completely honest he doesn’t feel like it at all. He goes along because everyone is excited about it and because he’s such a wuss sometimes. 

He ends up having fun. 

He also ends up sitting on some stairs with Adam. They can hear the music from the main room, but it’s muffled by a door. Tommy isn’t quite sure how they got there. Parts of the night are a bit fuzzy around the edges. He knows they’ve taken lots of pictures, though. 

Adam takes off his top hat, but leaves the teeth on even though they make them both sound like they have some kind of a speech defect. Tommy wonders how actors manage to sound cool and sexy with vampire teeth. 

The long-haired wig looks ridiculous on Adam, but Tommy doesn’t say anything. Adam takes his costumes seriously, and Tommy respects that. Sometimes. 

They are both sweating, especially Adam since he’s in an actual costume. Tommy’s just wearing a lot of make up. What can he say? He felt lazy.

It takes him a moment to realize that Adam is leaning in, grabbing his throat, turning his head to the side. He’s used to Adam’s hand on his throat, but he’s not used to Adam’s breath against his neck. Adam bites him where his neck meets his shoulder. Bites hard, the teeth scraping him. He yelps, surprised more than anything. His hands take hold of Adam’s, the one that’s grabbing his throat. He’s choking a little. He can’t think at all. 

And then Adam licks the skin he just bit, once, twice, third time. Tommy lets out the oddest sound, something between a whimper and a growl. 

Adam crossed a line here. 

"I’ve wanted to do that the whole night," Adam says next to his ear. 

It’s the first time he gets angry. He tries to hold it back because he knows Adam didn’t mean to do anything wrong. And in all honesty, he’s given Adam every right to think that this would be okay, that he wouldn’t mind. But he does. He minds a lot. 

"Let me go," he says as quietly as possible, his voice in control. 

Adam jerks away, his whole body moving to the other end of the stair they are sitting on. He doesn’t stand up, though, which is good because Tommy would have bolted if he had. 

"It’s okay," Tommy says even though it isn’t. 

Adam stares at him, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, breathing hard. He’s never seen Adam this uncertain. 

The anger leaves him now that he has room to breathe. He doesn’t want that look to stay on Adam’s face. "It’s okay," he repeats, and this time he means it. He reaches out, touching the side of Adam’s face very lightly. "It’s okay."

Adam relaxes against his hand, closes his eyes, breathes out. 

Tommy moves closer and hugs him, their bodies in an awkward angle. For some reason, he feels exhausted, feels like he’s survived an apocalypse. He wants to go home, but doesn’t want to leave Adam behind, doesn’t want him to think that Tommy hates him now. 

He decides to say something utterly stupid. "Take me home."

Adam smiles. Tommy can feel it against his cheek. "Are you sure you want me to?" he says. "I might get carried away." Adam is testing him, testing the truce, and Tommy lets him. 

"I’m a big boy. I can handle vampire lords, too." 

They stand up together, arms around each other. Tommy wants to make sure Adam knows it was nothing, didn't mean anything. They are gorgeous and they'll live forever and rock 'n' roll is a prostitute. Tommy grins, wild and mad.

Adam doesn't take him home. They go to Adam's place because Tommy still has his roommates. Easier this way. Tommy has no fucking clue what they are doing. In the taxi, he tries to get closer, grinds into Adam, and it must look like they are one freaky couple. Maybe they are. The freakiest of them all. 

Tommy walks up the stairs slowly, holding Adam's hand. It's a dance they've been doing the whole year. Tommy isn't bi-curious. He's Adam-curious. He just isn't sure if it's enough.

Once they are inside, and the door is closed behind them, Tommy's knees give in a little. Adam is behind him, and he just leans back against his chest. He's done that a million times. His body knows how it feels, but it's still different. Adam wraps an arm around him, and that's familiar, too. There are very few places they haven't touched before. 

Adam's hand goes down, and then up again, under his jacket and shirt. His skin reacts to the touch, goose bumps forming everywhere. 

He stops breathing, then closes his eyes and rests his head against Adam's shoulder, baring his throat. 

"You're beautiful," Adam says close to his ear. The hand under his shirt finds his nipple, and he gasps, the sound loud in the silent hall. He wants it, wants Adam's hands all over himself. Adam whispers something he can’t hear, but the feel of those words sends shivers up his spine. 

Tommy pushes against Adam, hard enough to back them against the door. "What are we doing?" he asks, looking up into Adam's eyes. 

Adam grabs his throat with his free hand, and tilts his head back forcefully. "What do you want us to be doing?"

Tommy still doesn’t know. He could choose right now, but he’s not sure if he wants to. The anger is bubbling somewhere underneath; he remembers how it felt. But he also remembers how it feels when Adam is pressed against him. He can feel it right now. "I don’t know," he says, breathless. He curses his stupid mouth for speaking the truth because Adam pushes him away, and crouches to take off his shoes. 

When he removes his jacket Tommy takes a step closer and puts his arms around Adam. He doesn’t let go even though Adam tries to free himself. He’s a little glittery burdock. 

"I’d kick you out if you weren’t so fucking cute," Adam says, then adds, "One day, I’m going to die out of sheer frustration." He doesn’t sound cruel, just tired.

"Me too," Tommy says, voice muffled by Adam’s shirt. 

Adam pushes his chin up with two fingers. "So what are we going to do tonight? You made me leave my own party."

"Watch a movie?" Tommy knows it’s lame, but Adam takes the bait anyway. He leads Tommy to the living room, sits him down on the sofa, and goes to pick a DVD. Tommy pulls his knees close to his chest, and wonders just how long he can continue doing this. He knows what Adam wants, but it's possible Adam just follows his instincts and takes what feels good. Even without the issue of sexual preferences, friends messing around is never the best of ideas. 

Adam sits next to him, and puts an arm around his shoulders. Tommy tries to sit straight, but he can't help leaning to Adam's side, and soon, he rests his head against Adam's shoulder. He's curling into Adam's lap like a fucking cat. He hates himself a little for that. 

Fight Club starts to play on TV, and Tommy smiles. It's one of their favorites. He falls asleep before Edward Norton's character beats the shit out of Angel Face. 

He comes around for a little while when Adam lifts him up, and carries him to bed. Adam pulls the vampire teeth off, but otherwise he just tucks him in and leaves him there. Tommy hears him speak with someone on the phone, but goes back to sleep before he can make sense of the words. 

When he wakes up he's alone. Adam is somewhere not here, and Tommy can't smother the disappointment. He gets up, aching and feeling icky. His shirt sleeves are white with the powder he used to make himself look dead. Now he probably looks like a roadkill. 

He wanders to Adam's bathroom, takes a piss, and then undresses, feeling weak and awful. A warm shower is exactly what he needs right now. He's not sure if his hangover is real or just the moral kind. Might be both. He rests his arms and head against the wall and lets the shower sooth his back muscles. His stomach growls. He hopes Adam has something to eat even though they haven't been home long enough to settle down.

Tommy steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist. He hesitates at the door, but then decides to take the risk that he'll run into Adam. He's not going to put the same clothes on now that he's clean. He's going to borrow something from Adam. 

He goes back to the bedroom. It seems Adam is either not home or he's somewhere listening to music or doing something that requires concentration and haven't heard that Tommy is moving about the apartment. 

There are too many clothes to choose from, and finally Tommy just takes the first black t-shirt that sticks to his hand and puts it on. He finds Adam's underwear drawer and borrows a pair of boxers and socks. The shirt is bigger than what he usually wears, but since most Adam's clothes are tight fits it's not as big as it could be. 

He adds sweatpants to the combo, and he's ready to go hunt for breakfast. 

After looking through every room he has to admit that Adam is gone. So be it. He puts the coffee on, and goes through Adam's kitchen cabinets. There's nothing much, but he finds eggs and decides to make an omelet. When he's halfway through frying it the front door opens. 

"Morning," he yells as he turns the omelet around. "Want eggs?"

Adam peeks through the doorway, hair disheveled and sunglasses covering his eyes. He's in his running clothes, and he's glistening with sweat. "Yeah, please. I'll go take a quick shower first." He disappears before Tommy can say anything. 

He feels domestic. He questions this new development, but leaves the matter alone when he can't come to any sensible conclusion. Whatever. He likes cooking for people he cares about. 

They sit at the kitchen table, watching each other as they eat. Adam has the most obscene tongue Tommy has ever seen, and he uses it all the time, to lick his lips and fingers, when he drinks, when he's on stage and wants to make people scream, when he has sex, Tommy is sure. 

"What do you miss most when we're on tour?" Tommy asks, just to create conversation. He wants to hear Adam's voice. "Not people, though."

"My bathtub," Adam says with a crooked smile that makes Tommy's skin tingle. 

Adam's hair is wet from the shower, and without make up he looks younger, sweeter, softer, but still hot as hell. Their friendship is twisted, Tommy thinks. 

"What about you?" Adam asks. 

"My bed." The bunk in the bus is not the most comfortable bed he's ever slept in, and hotel beds tend to be too soft for him. He likes futons. He wonders why there are never futons in hotel rooms.

Adam laughs a little, looking down. Then he tilts his head to the side and stares at Tommy under his brows. "Are things weird between us?" His tone is light, but Tommy can hear the edge in his voice, too. 

"Maybe." 

"Can we live with it?"

Tommy nods. He doesn't trust his voice. 

They eat in silence after that, Adam reading a news paper and Tommy throwing glances at him every now and then. When they're finished they wash dishes together, hands touching whenever Tommy gives something for Adam to dry. 

The tour break is over too soon, and they fly to Europe next. Tommy has heard it's cold in Finland, but he didn't expect the wind to creep under his shirt and chill him with icy fingers. He's freezing the moment they land. 

It's nice to be back, though. Helsinki is awfully small for a capital city, and he wanders around feeling comfortable and at ease. Nobody recognizes him, and nobody bothers him. He can't get lost, either. It's strange in a good way.

An SUV limousine takes them to the concert place where there's a huge line in front of it. Some people have been there for hours because of them. Adam does that to people. Tommy waves at some of the fans, but then they're ushered inside, to the backstage. 

The place is small, but it's full of beautiful people. There are children in the audience, too, and that makes Adam less graphic with his sexual innuendos. Tommy finds it both funny and endearing. They didn't talk about it, but that's just Adam who reads things with crystal clarity. Sometimes, he gets it wrong, but only sometimes. And even then he never has any regrets, just tries to learn from his mistakes. 

They have time to go out. Last time they were in Finland, they went to Jenny Woo, and that's their destination now, too. It's a mixed bar with a relaxed atmosphere. 

Tommy watches as Adam chats with a cute Finnish guy who is just his type: slender, small, funny, intelligent. Adam is a flirt, but he rarely goes with it. This time, it seems the guy is too sweet to be ignored. They laugh, smile, touch, whisper in each other's ears, and it looks like the guy is not interested in the Star but Adam himself. 

"Are you jealous?" Sasha asks him all of a sudden. He's been staring at Adam the whole night and apparently it's been noticed. 

Tommy shrugs. "Interested. They seem good together."

Sasha's fake-shocked expression makes Tommy laugh. "You want to join them? Oh my. Can I watch? Please."

Tommy chokes on his drink, and Sasha beats his back a little too vigorously. 

"Sorry," she says with a grin as Tommy wipes his eyes dry. "Didn't mean to kill you."

He doesn't want to say it aloud, but he is a little jealous, especially since it's usually him who's glued to Adam's side when they're out. He wants to sit between those two, and demand Adam's attention. Instead he talks with Monte about music, and what they could play as encore in the upcoming concerts. Monte is full of ideas. He wants to give Adam a chance to show his rocker side, the way he can almost sound like Freddie Mercury if he wants to. 

They change bars, and those two continue to talk. The guy is also a reality star so they have things in common. They know how it feels to be watched 24/7. Tommy is beginning to hate the guy even though he seems supernice and cool. Well, fuck it. 

He goes to the restroom, finds a free cubicle, and locks the door behind him. He just sits there, contemplating his options. He could leave, go back to the hotel, but that would only give him more time to think and that's the last thing he wants. He could pick up someone. He could scream his lungs dry in front of everyone. He could just sit and wait and watch. He's been doing a lot of watching, and it's only making him crazy. 

After a while he realizes that it's awfully quiet. There's no one else there with him. He stands, opens the door, and sees Adam who's leaning against the wall. 

"You do realize I've just blocked everyone from using a public restroom?" Adam says. "I must seem like a fucking diva."

Tommy just stares, his heart hammering in his chest. 

Adam pushes himself off the wall, and takes the few steps that are separating them. He crowds Tommy's personal space, forces him to back against the door of the cubicle. Tommy puts his hands on Adam's stomach, tries to keep a small distance between them, but Adam moves forward, whispering in his ear: "Give me a reason to stay." 

It's surreal: Adam's knee between his thighs, Adam's lips touching his ear, Adam's scent circling him. "Tell me to stay." 

It would be unfair. He can't do that to Adam. "Go. Have fun," he whispers, nuzzling Adam's neck. "Go."

Adam steps back, kisses his fingertip and presses it against Tommy's lower lip. Then he's gone. 

Tommy sags against the door, all strength leaving his body. He's fucking crazy. He has to get out of there. He doesn't want anyone to see him, doesn't want anyone's eyes on him, doesn't want anyone to know how fucking messed up he feels. 

He walks quickly to the front door, sending a text message to Monte to inform him he's leaving. He gets his jacket and goes out, breathes fresh air and nearly suffocates because the air is too cold. He hides behind his hat and scarf, only his eyes showing from underneath the layers. He wants to run, but decides against it. 

There are people outside, drunk, making a lot of noise, acting like it's a big holiday when it's just a normal Saturday night. Tommy avoids them, crosses the street so he doesn't have to walk by them. He can't see Adam or the guy so either they are still inside or they took a taxi. 

His breaths are short and shallow, and he realizes he might faint if he doesn't stop doing this to himself. He sits on a windowsill of some random shop, and just learns to breathe again. 

A couple walks by him, but then, to Tommy's surprise, they come back, asking something in Finnish. He tells them he only speaks English, and the girl asks if he's alright. He nods, says thank you, slightly touched by their concern. The girl waves at him when they walk away. 

He feels better after that. Random encounters always make him feel like the world is a lot smaller place than people think. He manages to gather enough strength to go back to the hotel, and once he's sitting on his bed he feels a bit better. 

It's clear to him now that Adam wants more than just to have fun with him. He's terrified of breaking Adam's heart, knowing how much Adam loves people and how much he gives away of himself. He can't believe they ended up here. He can't believe this is his life now. 

He takes a shower, orders food from room service, watches a movie, waits. He's not sure what he's waiting for, but when it happens he's expecting it. 

There's a knock on his door. 

Tommy goes to the door, bare feet, dressed in his pajama pants and a blue t-shirt. 

"Hi," he says to Adam who pushes past him, not saying a word. He's still in full make up, wearing his party clothes. He paces the room like a dangerous animal, and Tommy closes the door quietly, keeping his movements slow and soft. 

"What is it?" he asks when Adam isn't saying anything. 

Adam glares at him, stopping abruptly. He growls in frustration, words clearly abandoning him. "I can't do this anymore," he says, and Tommy's heart sinks, fear gripping his throat. Adam's voice is raw to the point of being cruel when he asks, "Am I that repulsive to you?"

Tommy sucks in a sharp breath, feeling like Adam just hit him. He can't think of anything to say, but then Adam continues, saying things Tommy doesn't want to hear. "I'd rather have you in my life, have a right to you, than have sex ever again." 

His head spins, and he has to sit down on a chair. This is beyond anything that he could have ever imagined. He knows he's supposed to say something, but he's too fractured to even try. He rarely cries, but this is the moment he really wants to, the pressure is too much. Fucking, fucking, fuck. He looks at Adam, tries to find the right words. 

"Isn't that just awesome," Adam says, pulling his jacket off and throwing it aside. "Say something."

"You're not repulsive," he says, quiet and breathless. He thought that was obvious. It seems people can misinterpret things perfectly. 

Adam looks at him, like he haven't seen Tommy before, like he's someone new. "What?"

"You're not repulsive," he repeats. "You make my toes curl." 

Adam looks at Tommy's bare feet, swallows. "Why?"

Why what? Why he's not repulsive? Why Tommy still doesn't know what he wants? Why the earth circles the sun? Who the fuck knows. He's so tired of this. "There are a million reasons why. You're my boss, my best friend. I want to have children some day. I don't want the hassle. I don't want it to be an experiment. I don't want to be curious. I don't want it to be forever. I don't want it to end tomorrow. I don't know." He pants a little after he's finished. It took all his energy to say that. He has kept it in for a long time now. "I don't want anything to change." _I don't want to lose you._

Adam pulls a chair close to Tommy, turns it around, and sits down, hands resting against the back of the chair. "What am I supposed to do?" he finally asks. 

It's a good question. Tommy wishes he knew the answer. He can't ask Adam to be patient anymore. It's too much to ask even from a best friend. "Can we just pretend we're sane people and go to sleep?"

"No." 

Things are changing then. Fast. 

Tommy wants to hold on to things, wants to force life to do what he needs from it. He can't win this battle. "What do you want then?"

"You."

He's not ready for this conversation, and because of that he hides his face into his hands. "You'll find someone better," he finally says.

Tommy hears Adam get up, feels him move closer. Adam sits behind him, and wraps his arms around him. "I don't want anyone better."

The chair is too small for both of them, and it's uncomfortable as hell, but he's never felt this close to anyone before. It's a sappy notion. He wants to kick himself for leaning back, for letting Adam lure him into relaxing. 

Adam kisses his hair, ear, his neck. "Even if this doesn't work, even if we fuck it up, I'm not going to send you away."

It's the stupidest thing Adam could have said, yet it's the only right thing to say. That's the thing he fears the most - of everything that he's ever been afraid of, nothing comes even close. He's come to life with Adam and the band and with this music. He is stronger now than he's ever been, but he's also weaker. He can't lose this. He can't lose Adam. Not for any reason. 

"I don't want to love you," he whispers because that's the truth. It breaks his heart, but it's the truth. "And I do."

Adam holds him tighter, and it almost hurts. 

"So that's why," he says, and pulls himself free from Adam's hold. He takes three steps away from Adam, turning to face him. "I don't want to lose this, us, anything."

Adam sits there, legs apart, wanton as always, but there's something very sweet in his eyes. "You love me."

Tommy glares at him. "Haven't you been listening?"

"And apparently, I make your toes curl." Adam stands up, moves fast, but Tommy is faster. It's a short struggle where Adam tries to grab him and Tommy runs to the bathroom and locks the door behind him. 

Adam bangs the door. "Tommy Joe, open this door or I'll break it down."

He's freaked, but he still finds the situation hilarious. He starts to laugh, sliding down the door, pulling his knees close to his body. "Go away," he says. 

Adam seems to be sitting down, too, because his voice comes from the same level. "You're crazy." Adam giggles, and then they are both laughing so hard they can't speak for the next few minutes. 

"Let me in," Adam finally says when he's able to form words. 

Tommy reaches for the lock, and moves enough to let Adam wiggle himself in through a small gap between the door and the frame. Adam crosses his legs and sits opposite Tommy, their knees touching. "I don't think I've ever enjoyed anyone's company as much as I enjoy yours," Adam says after a while. 

Tommy bites his lower lip, uncertain of what to say. He doesn't have words. He's said everything already. He feels the same, though, so he nods, letting Adam know that the feeling is mutual. 

"I want to kiss you," Adam says, watching him with care. Maybe he thinks Tommy might run again. He might, but right now, he's not running anywhere. 

"Okay." He knows it's not wise. He knows where it's going to lead, but he wants it. He just hopes he doesn't have to regret it. 

Adam comes closer, puts his hands on the floor on either side of Tommy's hips, and just waits. He's so close they're breathing the same air. "I love the way your body responds to everything I do," Adam says, voice quiet and warm. 

They've done this a million times, and it still feels like the first kiss they've ever shared. Tommy tilts his head back, opens his mouth a little, stays still. He lets out a soft sound when Adam presses his lips against Tommy's. Only their mouths are touching, Adam holding himself in control, keeping just the right amount of distance. Tommy pushes forward, nudges Adam's mouth open, their tongues touching. It's wet, soft, sweet, and he wants more. 

"God, I want you," Adam says against his lips, the words nearly unintelligible. Tommy wants him to show that, be as aggressive and grabby as he wants, anything. Instead, Adam is gentle. When Tommy tries to pull him closer, Adam stops kissing him and says, "Let me."

Those two words twist his heart a little. He breathes out, lets his hands fall to his sides on top of Adam's, their fingers intertwining. He nods, and Adam smiles against his lips. "Good."

The kiss is even more tender than the one before. Adam's self-control is Tommy's enemy at the moment, and he can't believe he's not able to break it. He whimpers, chest rising fast. He spreads his legs, giving Adam access to his whole body. Still, he just kisses Tommy, not touching, his warmth penetrating but not nearly enough. Tommy is losing his mind. It's torture. 

He turns his head to the side, freeing his lips. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Adam bites his chin. "Maybe." 

Tommy tries to object, but Adam leans in and owns his mouth. He can do nothing but surrender to that kiss. Adam's tongue is playing tricks he's never felt before, and he's starting to lose all ability for coherent thought. He needs so much contact that his body is moving on its own, trying to arch into Adam. A part of him realizes he's making sounds that should be illegal. He doesn't care. Adam is driving him nuts. 

He pulls apart again. "Touch me," he demands, just this side of madness, so in tuned with Adam that even his breath feels hotter than anything he's experienced before. 

Adam frees his right hand from Tommy's grasp, and brings it near his temple, not touching. "Tell me where you want it."

Adam wants him to think, like there's anything left of him that can put sentences together. Any place is better than no place at all. "Side," he says, breathing irregularly. 

The touch is light at first, Adam just stroking his side, but then he digs his fingers into Tommy's flesh, holds on hard. It's still not enough. "Shit." Tommy bangs his head against the door, and it's a good thing because Adam goes for his throat, biting, licking, kissing, but mostly just licking, tasting him. 

Tommy spreads his legs further, begs for Adam to come closer. And just then Adam loses it a little, straddling Tommy's thigh, rubbing himself against Tommy. 

But it's a short release because Adam stands up, takes Tommy with him, their bodies too far apart. Tommy guesses Adam wants to take him to bed, but they don't get out of the bathroom because a door is a perfectly good surface. Adam crushes him against it, pulling his legs up, and Tommy wraps them around Adam's waist. It's a position he's never been in, but it only registers somewhere in the back of his mind. 

Tommy has a hard time breathing because Adam's tongue is all over him and his hips are moving in steady, almost gentle thrusts. He's never been so turned on in his life. "Want you," he tries to say, but it comes out as breaths and sounds, not words.

Adam's hands snake under his shirt, sliding up and down his bare back, owning every inch of his skin. It burns, and Tommy clutches the back of Adam's neck, fingers mingling with his hair, pulling. 

Somehow they manage to get rid of their shirts, and it feels divine to have Adam pressed against him, just him, nothing between them. Adam pauses for a moment, waiting for Tommy to come around enough before he says, "Baby, open your eyes." 

Adam's eyes are almost black, nothing but thin rings left of his irises. "Look at yourself." Adam turns to face the mirror, and Tommy does the same. He can't believe the look on his face, can't believe how much of what he's feeling right now is written on his face. His lips are red, parted, hungry, and his eyes are black pools of desire. 

But it's still nothing compared to the look on Adam's face. Underneath all that pure need is something deeper, like he worships Tommy, like there's no one else who could pull that look out of him. Tommy forces his head down, pulls him into a kiss. This is so worth the heartache. 

Adam carries him to bed, lays him down, and then slowly undresses himself. Tommy watches, hands on his waistband, stroking his skin lightly. Adam is gorgeous, and Tommy extends his hand, wants to feel all of him.

Adam crawls on top of him, capturing his wrists and pushing them hard against the mattress. Tommy fights it a little, wanting to touch, but Adam's hold only tightens. Adam licks a trail down his neck to his chest and lower, then comes back, biting one of Tommy's nipples. Tommy nearly cries out, arching, heels digging into the mattress, so freaking hard he thinks he might burst. 

"You're so fucking perfect," Adam says next to his skin, soft puffs of air tickling Tommy. Then Adam let's go of his wrists, and goes lower, pulls at his pajama pants. He looks at Tommy, his eyes a one big question, and Tommy nods. That's all it takes, and Adam has him naked and writhing beneath him. Adam kisses his hipbones, bites wherever he likes, his hands roaming freely, taking everything he can, every sound Tommy makes. 

He knew Adam's tongue was talented, but he never knew how. He goes from normal desire to obsessive lust in a heartbeat, grabbing the headboard of the bed, his whole body rising from the bed, jerking so hard it's a miracle Adam can hold on. When he comes, he comes undone, open to the core. 

Adam tastes like him when he comes to kiss Tommy. Adam tastes like sex. 

He puts his arms and legs around Adam, buries his face into Adam's neck, holds on as tight as he can. He feels like falling. 

Adam kisses his temple, lips soft and sweet, tender. A complete opposite to his words. "I want to make you scream my name."

Tommy hesitates only for a second, then says, "You can try."

It's a challenge, and Adam sees it in his eyes. Adam grins, a wolfish look on his face as he lets go of Tommy and goes to his jacket. Condoms and lube, Tommy guesses, but can't see anything. His vision is slightly blurry, and his mind is still trying to recuperate. 

"You sure?" Adam asks when he sits on the bed next to Tommy's side. 

Asking is not what he needs right now, and he grabs Adam's hair, pulls him into a harsh kiss. No fucking asking anymore. 

Adam gets it, hands stroking Tommy's stomach and sides, licking and biting Tommy's neck. Then he sucks Tommy's shoulder, marking him, the evil bastard. 

Adam likes to lick his body, likes to play with his tongue. It's a game of pain and pleasure, teeth scraping Tommy's skin, and then the soft tongue soothing the aching spot. Tommy is squirming underneath Adam, head turning from side to side. 

What he's not ready for is Adam's fingers opening him up while Adam continues to worship his body. He's so not ready for that sensation, and he's rock hard in an instant. He bites the side of his hand to keep himself from shouting out, but Adam pulls his hand away and holds on to it, his thumb caressing Tommy's. 

"Please," he begs, not knowing what he needs. Just something, anything. 

"Gorgeous," Adam says, the word broken in the middle. 

It's then that Tommy knows Adam is not in control of himself; he's only holding back because of Tommy. That thought crushes his consciousness, and he pushes Adam first on his side and then on his back, and straddles him. He bites Adam's lips when he kisses him, wild and almost violent. Adam answers with equal ferocity, growling low in his throat. _This_ is what he wants. 

Adam grips his arms so hard they are going to bruise, and Tommy laughs against his mouth. Adam throws him over his hip, and forces him down, pulls at his hair, bites his chin. He fucking wants this. "Do it," he says, voice still pleading and broken. "Do it."

Tommy can't breathe for a moment, the feeling so unfamiliar and strange. It stings, it burns, and he closes his eyes, grimacing. Adam kisses him, lips wet and soft. "Breathe," Adam whispers, staying still. "Baby, breathe."

He's never been this open, this fragile in front of anyone. He opens his eyes, looks at Adam in the eyes. He's overwhelmed by the love he sees there. It breaks him a little more, and he puts his arms around Adam, slides his hands up and down his back, loving that skin with each touch. When Adam moves he literally sees stars. He's heard of it, of course, but nothing prepared him for this. He cries out, unable to hold it in. 

Adam's laugh feels velvety next to his ear, so catching that he laughs with him. It feels too good, and he might just lose his mind. 

When Adam changes the rhythm he stops thinking and lets the sensation take him, lets it shake him to the core. He's not conscious enough to know what he shouts when he comes, maybe Adam's name, maybe gibberish. All he knows is there's not a bone in his body that could keep him upright now. 

He just lies there, content to the bottom of his soul. 

"I love you," Adam says quietly, kissing his jaw. 

Tommy knows. He can feel it. 

"I want to be with you." Adam looks at him, eyes vulnerable. 

Tommy smiles, knowing he looks like he could purr. He's not far from it. "Okay," he simply says because it's not an issue anymore. They'll deal with it. Somehow.

Adam takes his hands, puts them above his head, and kisses his nose. "Okay? You're wordy today."

"You expect me to be a poet after that?" Tommy lifts his head up, kisses Adam lightly. 

Adam laughs, and Tommy loves that sound more than he loves Adam's giggle. It's sex and trust and love, and only for him. He will try to keep it close to him always. 

"I don't know what to expect from you," Adam says. "You constantly surprise me."

"Good." Tommy tries to free his hands, but Adam won't let him. "Again?" he asks, amazed and a little pleased. 

Adam licks his lips. "You have no idea how many times I've thought about you like this. It has a funny effect on me." There's a little demon in Adam's eyes when he looks at Tommy. 

Tommy opens his mouth, tongue darting out, and Adam licks it. That's it. He loves this person, adores him from toe nails to the tips of his hair. There's poetry. He can do it. 

They don't sleep that night. When they're not fucking each other senseless they talk, about how they're going to do it, about their families, about fame, about life and how they want to live it. They agree on most things, and it's good. Tommy feels content when he finally drifts to sleep, the sun already rising behind the clouds. 

The last thing his exhausted mind registers is Adam's fingers in his hair. 

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. This fic still holds a special place in my heart. <3 Some of you are still with me, many of you. *hugs*


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